


Left Unspoken

by eiralucia



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: I Made Myself Cry, M/M, Shiro (Voltron)-centric, Sick Shiro (Voltron), others are mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-24 23:55:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16185818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eiralucia/pseuds/eiralucia
Summary: Shiro is still learning to live with the prognosis his earth doctors gave him. Part of that means learning to love while he can.





	Left Unspoken

We’re not promised tomorrow. Shiro knows this deep in his soul. After all he had suffered at the hands of the Galra he would never doubt this. Even before then, Shiro lived in so much pain and fear of what his tomorrows held. Adam promised to be there. Through every painful doctor’s visit; every angry meeting with Admiral Sanda; every pain-filled night; he promised. Shiro forgave Adam long ago but that didn’t change the agony of loss. 

Loss was what Shiro was afraid to suffer again. Though Coran tried his best to slow the progression of Shiro’s disease nothing came close to curing him. Shiro was willing to give his all until then. He would defend the universe through his very last breath. Beyond that, he would devote what time he had left loving those who stood by him.

Every moment spent with his fellow paladins was a moment longer than he expected even a month ago. He refused to let them pass unappreciated.

Pidge could hide away all they wanted but Shiro hunted them down daily. He made sure they were reminded of their worth. Regular visits with Hunk to thank him for the generous care put into feeding the endless stomachs they all carried. Maybe a reminder to save a snack for Pidge when they surfaced late at night. Daily sparring with Keith came to include Lance and their now friendly banter. Shiro dedicated those hours to helping their friendship grow stronger. They would need each other no matter what tomorrow holds. 

Even while Allura trusted him to help in the building of the coalition, Shiro focused on reminding her of her own strengths in the matter. He praised her, yes, but more importantly he critiqued her methods. They had come so far together and he would never leave her alone without giving her all he had first. Voltron was the hope of the universe, and she the hope of Voltron. He knew that Coran would help her remember all that Shiro gave her and for that he was eternally grateful. 

Above all, Shiro would not rest until he knew that Lance was well provided for. He refused to love on him in all the way he deeply wished. If Shiro gave his all to Lance it would only break the blue paladin to pieces in the end. Shiro could not do that knowing what that heartbreak felt like. Lance was strong and could weather nearly anything but Shiro would not add to his already heavy heartache. Instead, Shiro became determined to leave Lance with all the best he deserved. 

Shiro gave more to their training sessions. Lance steadily became more accurate in his aim, faster in his piloting, and stronger in his hand-to-hand combat. Shiro’s heart ached to give him greater praise each day. To wrap his arms around those wide shoulders and breathe in the scent of Lance at his best. Shiro longed to end their sparring with tighter embraces and whispered words of devotion. Shiro was left with only platitudes of encouragement and lingering smiles. Those couldn’t touch Shiro’s desires but he hoped they would build Lance up to be a formidable foe to those who stood against him. His smiles grew brighter with Shiro’s attention. His confidence blossomed. Shiro became hopeful for Lance’s safety. Once he was no longer there to protect him, Lance would hold his own.

Then came the broken nights. The nightmares that plagued them both. The fear that rampaged through their breaking minds. The oppressive silence of the occasional defeat. Shiro was programmed to suffer these moments alone. There was never anyone to hold him through his fear when he fought as the Champion. The one place of safety, in Adam’s arms, long gone. However, Shiro saw Lance stumble more and more under his own burdens. He couldn’t let him suffer alone. There would come a day when he could not comfort his beloved paladin but until then he would show Lance the strength that came from leaning on a friend. He took to finding Lance after his nightmares woke him in cold sweats. Lance, in turn, began to seek him out for comfort as he continued to struggle with homesickness. This led to regular nights of all the paladins coming together to support one another as even Voltron could not always be victorious. Shiro knew he would leave Lance in the caring hands of their chosen family. 

They grew closer even as Shiro sought to restrain his affections. Lance was never one to pay heed to personal boundaries, but even he began to cross lines Shiro knew could break them. Careful touches as they passed in the deserted halls of the castleship; shy glances at diplomatic banquets; even gentle voices exchanged as they talked through their sleepless nights. Shiro felt the shift. He saw the writing on the wall. He just couldn’t shake these moments. Maybe he grew selfish after all he suffered. Maybe he was in denial of the pain that would come. Shiro simply could not let the guilt take this brief joy from him. 

Lance was starlight in a vast empty sky. He gave Shiro hope and joy in places he never expected. Through their constant battles and death-defying adventures, Lance became the constant in Shiro’s life. He became the one Shiro went to first, the one Shiro trusted beyond all others. He fell heart first without further thought of tomorrow. After all, he wasn’t promised any tomorrows so he would take what today gave him. 

Only today didn’t give.

Shiro had long since loved Lance deeply, passionately, and fully. He never gave in to his most intimate desires. He never told Lance in explicit terms. He never stepped out from his mask of propriety. He regretted that with his whole being as Lance lay in his arms upon the dusty planet surface. 

The battle had raged more viciously than most they faced before. Voltron was unable to break into the planet’s surface to flush out the Galra defending their base. On foot, the paladins separated into teams and gave them hell. Shiro, Keith, and Lance settled into their well-practiced pattern of hand-to-hand and sniper synergy. Shiro and Keith led countless sentries into Lance’s range while he picked them off and defended his team with deadly efficiency. Upon one last turn far beneath the surface, Shiro called back to Lance just as a Galra soldier collided with their sharpshooter. The strike was too quick to defend. Lance collapsed in the same breath it took for Keith to race into the soldier with deadly retribution. Shiro ran to him calling out in desperation. Long worn habit of treating wounds in the Altean healing pods guided Shiro’s arms to scoop up the blue paladin’s lanky form. 

Blood pounded in Shiro’s ears as he vaguely heard Keith calling through the comms for Allura to meet them on the surface. It didn’t matter what stage their siege was in, Lance needed a healing pod immediately. Shiro called to Lance over and over again, begging him to be okay. Shiro was meant to go first. It was always going to be goodbye, but Lance was the one meant to live a long life. Shiro could not face a tomorrow with any other outcome. He ran faster than any other time in his life. He fought harder than even in Zarkon’s gladiator ring to keep upright. They were still in the heat of battle and so far from the entrance to this damned base. Shiro paid no heed to where Keith was or what danger he was running toward. His whole existence was to get Lance to safety. 

Voices called out through the comms asking after the beloved sharpshooter but Shiro could spare no breath. Allura was crying out how she was pinned high above the planet by a battleship that had entered the fray only moments before. Keith was calling out for Red to help transport Lance, panic clear in his voice. Hunk and Pidge were trying to battle their way to the surface on the other side of the base to reach their own lions. Shiro could only settle into the dirt and hold Lance close. Tears streamed down his face as he cradled the limp form of his dearest companion.

After all he gave they still ran out of time.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Today was a very heavy day for me. And while I love soft Shance with joy and sweetness, this is what came out fighting every step along the way. I gave my best go at leaving the end open enough for anyone who wants to imagine a happy ending, but I have no plans to take you all there. Thanks for giving me a chance to share a little sadness even if our men deserve so much better.   
> Oh, and not a songfic but I definitely listened to Like I'm Gonna Lose You by Meghan Trainer on repeat. Oooops.


End file.
